An Open Letter to the Writers of “Glee”

Well that was just garbage.  Garbage wrapped in skin. – Sue Sylvester

Dear Writers of Glee,

What are you doing?

No really.  Glee’s first season was great.  It was a good mixture of absurdity and heart and it gave me hope for teen drama.  Plus, I really like Journey.  Was it just because that first year was so good, you had nowhere to go but down?

Why didn’t Quinn ever talk about her baby until season 3?  Giving up a child is a pretty big deal, but it seemed you kind of kept that storyline in your back pocket until it suited you.  And look at what that did for Quinn’s character.  She was all over the place with her emotions, which if you had mentioned the baby story earlier, would have been more explainable than the actual explanation.  Which was nothing.

And what about Karofsky?  He attempted suicide, but the entire episode dealt with how Kurt felt.  Where is he now?  Is he in a supportive environment?  Is he seeking help? (The actor was recently in Last Resort, but as he died immediately and the show was cancelled, I bet he has time to do a return.) I don’t mind you’re picking the hard hitting storylines, but it would go over well if you didn’t just choose them to get you the best ratings.  You are betraying your characters for numbers, and if you betray your characters, you betray your show.

Then there’s the storyline with Coach Bieste.  I like her, but I don’t like what you’ve done with her character. First she tells Will she’s had no first kiss.  Will then takes it upon himself to bestow her with one.  As someone who waited longer than most for her first kiss, I would be disappointed if mine was with one who was doing it because he felt pity.  Even though mine was with someone it didn’t work out with, at least it was well within the circumstances.  We were dating.  Then, she is being wooed by a gentleman.  That’s great.  It’s great to see “TV ugly” people have relationship options.  They get married – off-screen – and barely get a mention.  Then, before the ink can dry on their marriage certificate, he became abusive.  I didn’t buy it.  Again, it seemed like they pulled this hard hitting storyline so they can get ratings.  They haven’t talked about it since, and trust me, she would not have easily forgotten.  There are nightmares, waking up screaming, and flashbacks involved with getting out of a relationship like that.  Why don’t we see that part?

Let’s move on to Marley.  When we are first introduced to her, she is a strong teenager who sticks up for her mother.  All of a sudden, she is easily influenced to become bulimic.  Where did this strength go? Oh right, it became victim to a “hard hitting storyline”.  Just as teenagers need to know how to deal with issues, they also need to know strength at that age is something to be proud of and strive for – although in teen dramas, not attractive, unless you’re Buffy.

Where did the Blaine cheating on Kurt story come from?  If you’re going to do something like that, give us more of a backstory than a screenshot of a Facebook message.  I think that’s a major beef.  You’re doing all these extreme character choices, and because you give us no backstory, it seems (rightly so) that it’s coming from left field.

You portray Glee club as being this place people can join and be accepted, but look at how much has gone wrong to these people because of Glee club.  Marley became bulimic because of a sadistic cheerleader, and no one even noticed.  Every other girl sang along with her while making fun of Marley.  What terrible friends.  Marley and her mother are paying hundreds of dollars for therapy, while the cheerleader breezes along with her life with no consequences.  Are you going to have her get an STD from Puck?  Is that what you’re waiting for?

And then there’s Rachel.  What the everloving Eff?  You’ve gotten us used to her crazy.  And to be fair, she’s not all that crazy, she’s neurotic.  But the other week when Brody was late, she had one of your patented out-of-left-field freak outs.  He’s late.  He has a reasonable explanation, but she still throws out the food, pulls a Fatal Attraction type temper tantrum, then goes to your endgame, Brody Moves In.  Can we not agree this would be a better storyline? “Brody goes to Rachel’s house.  He sees the food and is immediately contrite.  ‘The train was delayed’, he says. ‘But you could have called,’ says Rachel.  ‘Look,’ he pulls out his phone, ‘my battery died too.  I’m sorry Rachel.  I felt like a heel, knowing you had probably made a special dinner for us.’ ‘It wasn’t your fault, Brody.  And you’re here now.’ ‘Gosh, I wish I didn’t live so far away from you.’ ‘Why don’t you move in with me?’  Boom: same ending, way less crazy.  Don’t get me wrong – the crazy is still there.  Less than a month after him sleeping with her enemy, she’s asking him to move in?

One last thing: (although there’s a lot more, but I think you get my point).  What was the deal with Quinn in a wheelchair?  Oh, you wanted teens to know the perils of texting while driving, so you put her in a chair, but then you remembered you already had someone in a chair so she got a miraculous healing?  Bad form.

A friend of mine did a rough calculation.  A show is approximately 40 minutes without commercials.  You have about 4-5 songs per episode.  That’s about 2-3 minutes each, yes? That’s 15 minutes.  Now you are left with 25 minutes of dialogue time to cover about 12 different characters.  If you divide that equally (which you don’t), that’s about 2 minutes per character. No wonder you’re having all these problems.

Please consider characters arcs a little better.  While it’s sad to say good bye to characters, sometimes that’s the best thing.  Just make sure you’re getting rid of the right characters.  I don’t miss Will, for one.  Don’t forget impressionable youth are watching this.  High school is more than winning at sports or music, or finding a boyfriend/girlfriend.  It is where you discover what you’re passionate about, whether it is music, or football, or acting, or writing, or history, or social justice.  Why don’t you encourage that?

From,

A Glee Hate-watcher (former Glee enjoyer)

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