Number Ten

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.
Tina Fey

3 flights.  That’s how many stairs we have at the office.  I estimate I traverse them about 5 time in a day – sometimes more.  So that’s 10 trips.  I’ve worked there over 4 years now. There are approximately 260 work days in the year; let’s subtract about 20 from that to account for vacation time and holidays/sick.  So 240.  240*4=960 days of stair traipsing.  960*10=9,600.  Out of those approximately 9,600 times of taking the stairs, I’ve fallen once.  Of all the times I’ve raced down the circular staircase to yell at the courier driver who keeps ringing the doorbell even though it says to go upstairs, I hadn’t had a single misstep.

My fall had to do with me walking leisurely down the main stairs to get the mail.  I was close to the bottom, and I was scrutinizing a car parked right outside the door.  Ever had those moments where you think you’re on the last step? Yah, I did, and I stepped out with confidence, only to be met by air.  I flopped down to the ground slightly akin to a fish out of water.  It was one of those moments where you’re glad no one was there to watch, but you kind of wish someone was to witness the grace in which you fall.

The last time I fell like that was during the dress rehearsal of Diary of Anne Frank.  All us Jews were being herded off – the moment was sombre and tense and then I fall down the stairs taking out the stage manager’s table, and terrifying the cat.  It was very dignified.

9 more days of possible stair falling days to go.


1 Comment

  1. Haha! The visual is brilliant!

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