Ice, Ice Baby

“You’re as cold as ice” – Foreigner

I live in a hole.  That’s right.  A hole.  A hole which is inhabited by flying ants in the summer.  A hole which has no heat in the winter.  Good thing here in Calgary, our winters are pretty mild.  Oh, see there you go, the cold has fried my brain.  Nope, snapped it.  Get it? Cold snap?

Naturally I am looking for an apartment.  But where can a girl who has a cat and 8 years worth of accumulated things go within a very tight budget?  Holes, and dear reader, the cycle begins again.

Please New York Times, realize my incredible potential and hire me for an independent writer.  Then I can afford to move away from my hole.   Heck, I’d even settle for the Calgary Herald.  But not the Sun.  That’s where I draw the line.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I have no line, I just want freaking heat!

Please, American Man who needs a wife (preferably living in a warm state but maybe not California.  You know, the weirdos and all), here I am! I will keep you in stitches with all my Canadian foibles.  We’ll be entertained for as long as we both shall live.

Please landlord, fix the heat!


1 Comment

  1. We’re already dreaming up a 5 year plan to get out of debt and move here. Looking at houses, jobs, cost of living…we’ll find you a way into a green card!

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