Just Say It

“But I don’t understand.  I’m supposed to be beautiful.”  “But you are beautiful.”  – Shrek

Here’s something I don’t hear very often.  In fact, I hear it so infrequently, the next time I hear it, I should go out and buy a lottery ticket.

“You’re beautiful.”

Actually, pretty much any variation of that phrase is foreign to me.  And I know I’m not the only one.  So why is that?  Isn’t beauty subjective?  Sure, I’m not in the same beauty scale as say, Gemma Arterton, or Reese Witherspoon, or a gajillion others that aren’t even in Hollywood; but is it possible that in the 6 billion or so people we have on this planet not one person considers me beautiful?  Dang!  What is up with that?  That’s enough to give a girl a complex, and I think I’ve already got one.  Every single person (man, or woman) in every nation wonders “is that why I’m alone?”

So what can we do about this?

For those of you who read this blog, please do not comment and say, “Oh, Kim, you’re beautiful, you truly are.”  That’s not what I’m asking for.  What I’m suggesting is that we take it a bit further.

Women:  We are terrible to each other.  We constantly tear each other down so we can feel good.  Stop it!  If you see a girl with a nice jacket, dress, pants, shirt, hairdo, glasses, whatever; tell them.  Don’t make snarky remarks to your friends that “she should NOT be wearing that jacket.”  Why not? And who are you to say differently?  The greatest compliment I think I’ve ever gotten, and will never forget is a woman who stopped me just outside the Co-Op and told me the red shirt I was wearing was a really good colour for me.  A stranger.  Totally made my day.  And you know what?  I’ll be honest: sometimes, I look at these women and what they’re wearing and wish their clothes looked half as good on me.  Fine. Obviously it means I like their clothes, right?  So don’t begrudge them what you are envious of.   And single girls:  If you see a girl that you think isn’t as pretty as you who is hand in hand with a guy, don’t comment.  Sure, it sucks being single. I get it.  So why would you wish that on a stranger?  It’s not going to make you suddenly non-single.

Men:  I don’t know anything about your culture, but could you say something like, “Dude, uh, nice triceps,” or something?

Oh, and everyone – men and women – if you find someone attractive and they’re funny, and witty, and they make you do that little squee inside, but because they’re too fat, or too skinny, or the wrong colour, you ditch them, get over yourself.  You don’t deserve them.  But you did make them feel like crap, so congratulations, you’re a jerk.

So maybe I’m not beautiful to a bunch. . . a lot. . . a tonne. . . a couple billion people.  But you know what?  I’m a hell of a lot more.  I’m a decent writer.  I’m an actor.   I’m funny. . . actually, I’m hilarious. And that’s just scratching the surface of all that I am.  People, we need to look past the “beautiful” barrier.


Bestie and Me



  1. The photo caption, when skim read, combined with your expressions could totally be ‘Beastie and Me. Which is only funny cause it’s ironic since you’re both…(lol!) Girls having fun are cute.

  2. Well said Kim! I think us girls need to be there for each other, not tear each other down! We are all beautiful in many different ways and we should celebrate it!

  3. VERY well said Kim! Even though I am married, I still want to hear those three simple words… “You are beautiful.” I think every woman craves it, and really honestly NEEDS to hear it. I’m sorry that you haven’t heard those words said to you often enough in your life. And what a great way to capture beauty… with a picture of you and me being total goofs!!

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